Tuesday, February 17, 2009

17 February 2009

Roy's surgery was yesterday. It came after a long weekend of him fasting. His last meal was Friday night. Clear liquids, jello and chicken broth all weekend. After midnight Sunday, nothing at all, not even water. Roy wanted to go to church on Sunday but was just so week. Sunday evening our pastor, Pastor Ken came by to give a little private ministering to Roy. The three of us talked alot about all kinds of things. Pastor Ken knows how to talk in just a way that Roy needs to hear. Roy and I both think it's important to have Jesus at the center of our marriage. Having a close relationship with Jesus will not only improve us as individuals, it will make us better marriage partners and better parents.

Monday, while Roy was in surgery prep, Pastor Ken came by again to have a prayer session. It just put us in such a peaceful place. Roy was really ready for this surgery.

There were some tears as Roy was rolled into the operating room, but we both just put it in Jesus' hands. We know that we're on a path that is all part of His plan. Over the last few weeks there've just been so many signs, messages that Roy could't just write off as happenstance. He knew it was time to turn it all over to God.

The waiting was really tough. It was supposed to be a two hour surgery, but two hours turned into three...four and finally five hours. About every hour or so, one of the nurses in surgery would call me and give me an update. That was good. I spent alot of that time in quiet contemplation and prayer. Unfortunately, Roy wasn't able to wear his Lord's Prayer necklace or his wedding ring. I held on to the necklace and wore his ring.
I spent alot of time thinking about all that we've been through in our marriage thus far. We've both certainly done enough to cause permanent damage to 12 marriages. Yet our foundation is so completely unshakeable. I know that having a relationship with God and keeping Him at the center of our family will only help us repair the damage and grow stonger for each other and for Andrew.
It was pretty lonely feeling there in that waiting room. Seems I watched the full cycle of the sun through the window. Got there as the sun was not quite all the way risen, and watched a beautiful sunset at the end of the day.

Once the surgery was over, his dr. came out and gave me the run down. They took his appendix and about 6 inches of his small intestine. They took a few feet of his large intestine / colon. He said that when they removed the area of the colon that had the absess, they uncovered "a large mass" (about the size of an apple) that didn't show up on the CT scan.


Welcome to the biggest dose of harsh reality anyone could ever be given.

"Hello Mrs. McIntyre, we've just removed a mass the size of an apple from your husband's colon and we don't know if it's cancer. "

"The Mass" has been sent to the lab today and we'll have the results back Wednesday or Thursday.

I WANT THE RESULTS BACK NOW. I don't want to wait another minute. A good piece of news on that, though....his doctor really had a good feeling that it was NOT cancer. But I just want the for sure test results.

Today was a quiet day. I was at the hospital most of the day today. Roy was very doped up and slept most of the day. He's got an epidural that's slowly dripping in constant paid meds. Plus he has what we call the "turbo boost"...a button that he can use once per every 10 minutes to get an extra shot of pain meds if he needs it.

Pastor Ken came by today and....miracle of miracles, Roy accepted Jesus Christ as his savior. This is a new phase in our life that only will bring positive results. It's funny....after Pastor Ken left we were talking about everything and Roy asked "We're still going to have hot sex, right? " lol. Nothing has to change. Christians can have hot sex, and be sexy and still be crazy and everything else. it's not like we're suddenly going to be God freaks and have to pray every 10 steps we take or what ever. I just think our individual relationships with God is very private. It's no one's business if we don't feel like going to church a few sundays in a row or what ever. I mean, does anyone who knows me honestly think I'm suddently going to stop saying "Fuck".... hehe. What ever.....it's a whole new world. One in which I know Roy and I will traverse together.

It's how we get through everything.

Despite the seriousness of the past few days, I'm absolutely going stir-crazy. Trying to be a productive person for my company, which...I feel like I'm getting work done, but things are just so crazy right now, it's hard to be as productive as I want to be.... trying to take care of Andrew, worrying about Roy, living with my parents, and oh, by the way, I've got to start looking for another job and we're currently living about two hours from where I need to find a job. I've not only got to start finding a job because my current job ends March 31st, but also I need health benefits in case Roy has any complications. This could get interesting.
I feel like I'm working 3 full time jobs. Regular work, running back and forth to the hospital, worrying like crazy over Roy, trying to take care of Andrew and give him as normal a life as possible, and somewhere in there, trying to sleep.
So here I am today: going stir crazy!

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